I have been going with my family to Florida to visit my Grandparents, since I was 6 months old. We have made the pilgrimage, religiously, every April from New York. We rarely, if ever, stayed at a hotel, but I didn't care. We were there to visit family and being together was all that mattered. As the years went by, the way these trips manifested would change. My sister and I were sometimes not able to go, as we had different Spring Breaks during our college years. Our cousins weren’t able to stop by our grandfather’s house as frequently. It felt like an important era of my life, ‘The Golden Years of Childhood’ was slowly drifting away.
My cousins and I are all incredibly close in age, there are not much than a few years between the four of us. The four of us grew up practically attached at the hip. Kimberly, Jenni, Lindsay, and I lived for the moments we would be reunited at our Pop-pop's house. It was a house full of magic and whimsy, a place where there was a ‘magic fan’ who answered our incessant questions by blinking yes or no, a place where laughter was always prominent and food was always being made. We would perform in the living room for the family in our “famous” girl band, ‘GIRLZ ONLY’, go swimming until the late afternoons, and even set up a ‘salon’ to paint each other's nails. We learned to lean on each other, becoming best friends more than relatives. There was no greater joy I had then spending time with them, getting to grow up alongside them was truly the highest privilege. Some of my favorite memories are of the four of us going into my Nan and Pop-pop’s room to wake them up in the morning, us all squeezing to fit into their bed. Their house was synonymous with joy. The joy I got from being surrounded by family, from feeling safe and loved.
My Pop-pop has put his home of the past 22 years on the market to be sold. It is a bittersweet feeling. I am happy that he is moving in with Joanne, who is an incredible person, and that he will be able to downsize from his current space. I am quite nostalgic by nature, so as I knew this would be my last time in this special place, I wanted to find some way to commemorate this piece of my family’s generational history.
Hence, this piece!
It is a sad feeling to leave a place and know you won’t return. The memories we made in that house are irreplaceable. I can still hear the laughter that echoed through the walls, and the whispers between my sister and me as we drifted off to sleep, exhausted from a day in the sun. The sounds of family, The sounds of a home well-loved. Not only is the home full of pictures of my family from generations past, but I can almost feel my grandmother when I enter the door. Her presence in the home is everywhere. It would be impossible for it not to be. It is the place where, to me, she was the most alive. It is sad to know I won’t enter that house again, but I know that wherever I go in life, she will be with me by my side.
There were a few items that I took from my pop-pop’s house as mementos of sorts. A Polaroid picture of my Nan, her smile and curly hair as bright as the sun. I hadn’t seen that particular photo of her before and she was filled with such joy, I knew I needed to keep it. I took a small bike, of which my grandma kept hundreds of throughout the house. I also took some kitchen items, a “coffee time” sign, and a little mushroom man that used to sit on my nan and pop-pop’s stove. These little mementos, though may not seem like much, are emboldened with the memories of my favorite place and the times that were spent with some of my favorite people.
It is a sad thought to think of your loved ones growing older. It is inevitable to grow melancholic at the thought of losing a parent or watching them not be able to live life as they used to. Every time that my mother would say goodbye to her mom at the end of our family vacation, she would cry. I never really understood why, until recently. The bond between a mother and daughter is forever. Although my mom is a mother herself now, she was a girl and a daughter first. She and my father had full lives before my sister and I joined the picture. It is weird to think of them that way, as younger children or rebellious teens, when I have only known them for a small portion of their lives. I wonder what they were like back then. If they were shy or the first to talk in class. I wonder if we grew up at the same time if we would have been friends. I like to think so.
Change is always difficult. I am so lucky to have so many fond memories to look back on and even more to look forward to, in the years to come. Who knows where life will lead me, what I will be doing with my life in 5 or 10 years is a mystery. The question mark of what the next few years of my life would look like used to give me anxiety or make me wonder if I was on the right path. All I care about is that I am surrounded by people who I know truly care about me, no matter what. It's hard to not compare yourself to the success of others, but everyone is on their path. It is important to remember that happiness comes from within, to be kind to yourself, and to make the most of every day, you don't know how many more you will be granted. Even though that part of life is over, how lucky was I to be able to experience it?
All my love,
Shelby :)
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