I was always fascinated by the Titanic when I was younger. I’m not sure why, I think I read about it in some elementary school level chapter book and became fixated on it. If you didn't know, the Anniversary of the sinking was last month. Even though I was enthralled by the story and the movie (rose, there was 100% room for Jack on that board), I didn't realize how scary the reality of the situation must have been.
I like the ocean, but the thought that there is SO much out there that we have yet to uncover and likely never will makes me very nervous. I saw a photo once of a scuba diver who was swimming through the ocean and came across a drop off that led to a pitch black section of the sea. That's simply terrifying. I’m all for swimming and playing in the waves, but the unknown of what can be lurking beneath the surface has always made me uneasy.
There is actually a word for this type of fear, which I didn't know of before starting to write this. It's called Thalassophobia, a fear centering around bodies of water that seem vast, dark, deep, and dangerous. The images that came up when I searched this literally made a chill go down my spine.
There is the age old adage of are you more scared of what is in outer space or in the deep ocean. Although both make me nervous, it's unsettling to think that there are giant species that have yet to be uncovered lurking beneath the surface. Lurking probably isn't the best word, since they are 1,000 feet below surface level. So far that no scuba diver or submarine can ever go. However, the thought of us floating alone in the milky way is equally terrifying to some degree.
What the hell does that have to do with the Titanic, Shelby? I was scrolling on Twitter one day, when I came across a video that prompted this whole train of thought. It basically was saying that for the majority of time that the Titanic was sinking into the Atlantic Ocean, the lights would have been out throughout the ship and the boat would be plunging into pure darkness. That freaked me out.
When you think about the Titanic, we think about the fake love story or how little lifeboats they had, not that they were in the dark freezing cold for hours on end. Even in the film, the nighttime darkness isn't even half as dark as it would be in real life. That adds a whole new layer of fear and terror to an already horrifying situation, being plunged into the ocean but being unsure of what’s waiting to greet you on the other side.
I'll include a link to the video I watched below, if you want to watch too. It made me wonder what other mild historical inaccuracies are littered in common film and TV adaptations.
I don't know why I was so drawn to this video, but I felt the need to write about it and how it made me feel, especially since the anniversary for the sinking was last month.
I've always been fascinated with things like that, the unknown. I wrote a paper in high school about concept of multiverses or other life in our Milky Way. It is mind boggling to try and wrap your mind around how large the Milky Way truly is. The fact that it is so large, many of the solar systems are light years away from each other is beyond comprehension. To me, the thought of there being other forms of life out there in the abyss is comforting to some degree. On the other hand, I can't decide if its a scarier thought that we are completely and utterly alone in this vast universe or that other beings know about us and are simply biding their time before they make an introduction. I don't know and we probably will never know for sure, just food for thought. I'd be really interested to hear your thoughts on this, let me know what you think below!
In other news, my knee is on the mend! I have officially ‘graduated’ from going to the doctor for follow up appointments and dont need to wear my brace anymore, which is great since it keeps falling down anyway. I still have to continue with PT to help my leg get stronger and go twice a week.
I went on a walk sans braces recently. Normally on my walks, I listen to music or podcasts, but I was compelled to just be. I listened to the wind, the birds chirping and feeling the sun on my face. It was blissful. I utilized a technique that my therapist had taught me: focus on 5 things you see, 4 things you hear, 3 things you taste, 2 things you smell and 1 thing you feel. This helps to not feel overwhelmed and to focus on one thing at a time.
Work has also been going well. I’m trying not to let myself get overwhelmed, but that is easier said than done, especially when there is so much going on. I have to remind myself that I'm trying my best and that's all I can possibly do.
I went to visit a few apartments on two different visits to the D.C. area. I haven't found anything yet, but I know the perfect apartment is just around the corner and soon I’ll be living in D.C :)
More to come, hopefully without such a large gap between my next post!
If you're still reading this, thank you and I love you :)
All my love,
Shelby
Thalassophobia example... (just looking at this picture makes my skin crawl)
Full Titanic Vid: (It's extremely long, I would fast-forward around a bit)
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